Random LoL short stories from ELO Hell
by Rage Against The Pendulum
Summary: A bunch of short stories because I'm not good with fully committed stories. May contain everything in terms of genre.
1. Sharp Blade, Bright Lamppost

Disclaimer: all rights belong to their respective owner

The Sun rose high onto the sky,bestowing the untouched, peaceful grassland of Valoran with its warm array of sunlight. A perfectly good day to play sports. Like dueling. With the grassland arena surrounded by a drunk, loud, energetic crowd, chanting "Fight!" over and over. It even has a pair of commentators.

"Good morning, my ladies of Valoran!" Twisted Fate first spoke first, then peeking from under his hat to the camera. Already, there have been woos from the young naive girls in the crowd lusting for his Gambit looks."We are here, live on the Fields of Justice aptly named Proving Grounds. I'm your guest commentator for today's round, with my far inferior partner...Graves."

The camera then panned to the outlaw with an awesome beard and a huge ass shotgun on his side.

"Hello, ladies..."

Almost immediately, the girls snapped shut and stared at the 'perverted old, outdated' man with disgust, as they coined among themselves.

"Goddamn kids, dont know what's a real man and what's a pansy..."

"Yet you're still a virgin, Gravy-"

"Gravy?"

"Now, stop your futile search for women, you dirty old man-"

"Aren't you about the same age as me-"

Graves got interrupted by a gold card to his cheeks.

"Sonavabitch! You want to die now?" he threatened as he pumped his shotgun.

"And now, continuing on," and Twisty completely ignores said threats...while Graves got 'calm down' by the security at the background."Now, you've some interesting matches of our little unofficial informal personal dueling game of ours, like Kat Vs Garen, Rumble Vs Teemo fighting over Tristana, Vayne Vs every 'baddies' in the League, and of course she won. But what you're seeing before you is a match that predicted to reach the top of ever in technicalities and professionalism, we're talking about our newest champ, the Grand Duelist who won multiple championships with her style and grace, and we have our very own Jax, a guy so OP, that the nerfs the Institute of War put on him does jackshit nothing to him, even taunting them by using his now signature weapon, a brass lamppost. And guys, all I can tell you this, be very careful with your betting money because from the looks of it, it can go either way-"

"Get the rat's ass out of my face!" Graves shouted as he just got back to his seat after being manhandled by the security."I calm my horse down, geez. Anyway, we can see right now, they are locking eyes, like a true folks of the west, circling each other, just looking for that weak spot even before the bell has ring-!"

And Graves is right. Locking eyes. From eye to eye. Well, from eye to glowing mask but the feeling is still there. Here, Fiora, as she combed her fringe down with her left hand and pointing her rapier with another, taunted with her thick French accent "You poor fool! Do you even realize who I am? I am the shining example of a perfect dueling style, an art in itself superior to...whatever homebrew random whacking you call."

But that only entertains Jax, earning a chuckle from him."And that homebrew shit got me nerfed to the damn oblivion and I still kick ass! Who the bloody hell do you think you are, claiming that you're will be the greatest champ-"

"Correction!" Fiora snapped and whipped her rapier down like a cane."I AM the best champ this organization has ever had! And I am not afraid to prove it."

She lifted her rapier up to Jax's mask.

"Starting. With. You," she punctuated as she poke Jax's mask lightly.

"Awww," again, Jax ignored the threat, pushing the blade out of the way, then casually walk up to her and started pinching her cheeks like a child."You're so cute when try to act like you're actually gonna beat me-!"

"And Jax is being his typical egocentric asshole self," TF commented."Which is kinda justified since he won every single personal duel."

"He's on an undefeated streak like the Undertaker, basically," Graves added."He has defeated the Wuju master, said master's student, all 3 ninjas, a pirate, a crazed viking and even a blind monk! All of them are capable in 1v1 fights! And remember, all of them are free of any summoner's control, no noob summoners to ruin their match! Just their own skills and wits! But will our newcomer Fiora be able to break that streak, right here, right now?"

"My money's on him," TF blurted as he waved a wad of cash out of his wallet and slammed it on the desk.

"Yesh, I'll be going for Jax too," Graves agreed, doing the same action, except the wad of cash is just ten bucks."And speaking of bets, what are their winning condition?"

"Well, if Fiora wins, Jax will have to give up his title of the Grandmaster and recognized Fiora with said title."

"And if Jax won?"

"Fiora will be in a maid costume for a day, sucking on a horse's dick all day."

"...Ummm..."

"Well, I think Jax meant it as sarcasm and just joked about-"

"GO BRO!" Brolaf shouted from the front row seat."Beat her down so we can get to see some action!"

"I dunno, Twisty," Graves said while watching Olaf cheering like mad."He's seems pretty serious, and desperate, for that matter, to see Fiora's skills at a long skin flute-"

Ding.

"And the bell has rung!"

Both fighters have tightened their grip, going into their respective stance: Fiora standing proud and tall with her rapier pointing as if looking down upon her enemy's skills, whilst Jax is hunched down to accomodate the spear-like feelings for his lamppost. The first important thing for Jax is this: twirling his lamppost above his head. Fiora giggle at the sight of its silliness and spoke "Please, if you think that playing around with your pathetic weapon would win this match, then you've severely underestimated me! Have you not even watch my duels beforehand?"

But she did not wait for Jax's smartass answer as she lunged in on him, with her weapon pointing down onto his shoulder.

The lamppost swayed it away.

Hah, as expected of anyone with combat experience but can he dodge the next one, though, Fiora thought as she lifted up her rapier quickly to slice Jax from his shoulders across.

The lamppost stopped its path before it even reached his shoulders.

Huh, okay. However, if I start another slash from his other shoulder, he won't expect it-

It was turned another way as the Jax caught the rapier, swing it over his head and swung it over his head and slammed it onto the ground,spraying away from the impact is loose dirt.

What?

And with every strikes afterwards, she gets angrier, more impatient and swifter. Jax dodged every single one of them creatively.

"How could you even be that swift while spinning that stupid heavy lamp-"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence as Jax finish his rotation with a one clean sweep across Fiora's chin, stunning her.

"Now here comes the REAL action," Jax warned as he lighten up his lamppost and stab it right into Fiora's stomach. She collapsed onto her knee, but she's not out yet. Though it gives Jax a chance to slap her left and right with his lamppost. Fiora tried to retaliate by slashing Jax at his feet. But her target was nowhere to be found. She widened her eyes, stood on her feet and began to look around. When she saw that Jax had jumped to the nearest wall, it was too late. Jax kicked off the wall and slammed the brass beast directly onto Fiora's temple. Her head rung, impacts richocheting in her head as she bounced off the ground at the sheer force Jax had put into her.

But he's not done yet.

During Fiora's mid-bounce, Jax lifted his lamppost high above his head with both hands on the furthest end of the shaft and swung it onto Fiora's stomach, sending her flying across the arena like a golf ball till her back met the wall with a resounding crack. No one was sure if it's the wall or Fiora's bones that made the sound.

Some may call it brutality, others call it basic entertainment.

Regardless,Fiora is on all fours, breathing heavily, once even cough up and Jax simply walked up to her and readies up another charge of electricity for his lamppost, anticipating his early victories celebrated with Graggy Ice and horse blowjob. When he striked down, all he see is dust.

And a blink of bright light.

"You've taken your eyes off," Fiora whispered into Jax's ear before he knows what's going on and sliced his sides. Jax turned around, find nothing again. Next strikes was upon his left shoulders from behind. Jax turns once more. Only resulted in a stab in his stomach. He held his stomach in annoyed pain.

This gives Fiora barely enough time to adjust her hair and 'aim' down her rapier's 'iron sight', the tip touches on Jax's shoulder once more.

"So, do you like my gracious technique of blade waltz?" Fiora barely mouthed out her words. I do not know of that previous technique you have used to block all of my attacks but...now...now...it's punishment time."

"Hehe, punishment," Jax chuckled."That sounds perverted-"

At that word, Fiora did not hesitate to descend down upon Jax a full array of vicious, swift strikes.

And yet, despite the relentless assault, Jax, though on the knees, tanks them like a man. He then lifts up his lamppost and does its final charge. It exposed a spot on his stomach where Fiora simply chopped him down on his shoulders.

"Face it, Jax," Fiora taunted, with enough confidence for her win that she simply dug her rapier in slightly deeper and release its grip to let it stand."The likes of you does not deserve a position in such a prestigious company, let alone a long-winding winning streak. Look at yourself: undisciplined, uncultured, not formally trained, even that outfit you wear is an outrage. What is exactly are you wearing? A hastily sworn together bathrobe with the fabric you found at the back of a second hand tailor shop? Look at my armor. Elegantly designed, flexible and simply, simply fashionable-ommph!"

What she did not expect is that Jax get off the ground, with the sword still deep in his shoulders, and ram his lamp onto Fiora's abdomen. He does not stop. He then charge against Fiora, pushing her with the lamp, while the lamp itself gets hotter and hotter by Jax's own brand of ability power. He does not stop till he ram Fiora up against a wall, where the lamp shattered to pieces, exploding hot glasses, some got embedded into Fiora's stomach, yet despite wincing and twitching in immense pain, she still has enough pride to hold in her screams of agony.

He grabbed Fiora with his lamppost by her throat, both their back facing the wall, took out the rapier out of his shoulders, threw it onto the ground and whispered into her ear "Well, now wouldn't it be funny if I go down as easy as you think?" and did a White Noxian Leg Sweep.

Fiora's face first.

Onto the ground.

Littered with sharp shattered glasses. Still hot.

Both of them made a sastifying crunch when they meet glass.

The crowd went wild with blood lust. Then went quiet a bit in anticipation, to see who gets up first. And when they saw Jax rolling onto his stomach and slowly rising to his knees, the crowds roared.

Until Fiora grabbed her rapier and smite down Jax, pinning him in place to the ground, earning his long, yet somehow still manly screams before both had gone limp onto the ground.

Crowds shout at them to get them to stand up and fight once more but in the end, to the 'referee's point of view, neither of the fighters ain't getting back up, even for the likes of Jax and signal the paramedic team, consisting of Taric and Alistar, to come in and take them to an infirmary. They didn't need a stretcher, though, Alistar simply pick each of them up like a janitor picking up stray pieces of paper, he is, after all, a cow with steroids and tons of bench pressing.

The crowd were not satisfied with what they see, and demanded a rematch between the two of them.

"Well," TF blurted it out first so as he can form the rest of the sentence. That battle was that stunning."That was...interesting. A match, without any interference from noob summoners, where Jax DIDN'T win? Now we're seeing a potential in that new girl."

"But then again, he didn't really lost either," Graves interjected."I mean, sweet lord, that last bit where he slam Fiora onto the glass is damn brutal."

"Yeah but I like Fiora's quick thinking and denying Jax the win he could have gotten in a narrow piece of time."

"...Yeah."

"Well, anyway, that's all the time we had for now, our rent for this field of just running out. I am Twisted Fate and I deal tons of damage more than Graves-"

"Wait, we're finishing?"

"Yeah, are you going deaf you old man-"

"Great! Now I can go do some rounds of clay shooting!"

Graves picked up his shotgun.

"Pfft, who plays clay shooting these days-"

Twisted Fate will have to interrupt his dialogue, for his face had an emergency conference with the window.

"Damn, not broken yet, let me try one more time-"

And the second time of face smashing into the window was a success, and TF goes flying out of the window. Graves QuickDraw out of the announcer booth through said broken window and shot his collateral damage at TF's chest and, with the resultant strong recoil force, sending him down to the ground almost immediately. Graves did a typical cheer in the air, including the 'yeehaw!' part...

Till every bone in his body breaks after he land on the ground.

"Urrgh," Alistar complained as he picked up 2 more patients."I hate it when my teammates die just to kill one douchebag. Just too greedy, those guys."

"Yeah, I get what you mean about those tower divers."

A while later...

The first thing Fiora see was a blurred lighting and a ceiling fan. The first thing she felt was a moderate softness of the mattress she's lying on and the immensely sharp pain from her chest.

"What?" Kennen said at both of his disappointed doctor disguised ninja partners."Ribs grow back!"

Shen let out a sigh, took the rib out of Kennen's hands and threw it into the trash and said "It doesn't matter anyway, we'll be healing her in no time. Or at least, less painful."

Shen crouched down and grab a Piltover invention called a medigun, nicknamed 'Quick Fix' to distinguish it from the previous and the newer versions of this miracle of medicine technology.

As Shen focused on healing Fiora, she asked what had happened to her.

"Jax, of course," Akali answered for Shen."He always hospitalize every opponent he faced. None of them have gotten a bad beating like you have gotten, though, and your duel ended in a draw."

"A...draw?"

Akali let out a sigh, knowing that Fiora is famous for being smug about her abilities, she assured "Look, I know you had some streaks going on but you gotta know that one day-"

"Perfect."

...

"Umm, what?"

Fiora was scratching her chin with a devious smile, clearing Akali's confusion by saying "Well, don't you see? I found one! I found an opponent that is on my level of professional dueling! All these boring years of virtually crushing every mediocre fighters out there, I have found...Jax. Would be anyone be so gracious to hand me my rapier back?"

Kennen tossed Fiora her weapon and its hilt landed perfectly in her hand. She inspected the blade by running her fingers through the flat side and let it slipped off at the end. It seems that the ninja are polite enough to clean off all the impurities.

"I have found...a worthy opponent."

"Even if he's some urban frat boy?"

...

"Yes."

-meanwhile-

When Jax was awaken at an infirmary, he requested that he leave immediately and leave it to him to treat his own wounds. When the nurses advises not to, Jax simply called her a pussy, bitchslap her away and stormed out. The rest of the staff simply shrugged, it meant more supplies saved for them for all they care about the egotistical Grandmaster. He took a trip out of the infirmary and later, out of the whole Institute of War to a nearest town and uprooted the first lamppost he saw, grabbed a bottle of beer from the convenience store, and signed a few autographs for a small group of brats before heading back to his dorm.

He gets a bedpan to set aside for the purpose of collecting glasses as he pulled them out of his bodies. Then wrapped the injured part with herb soaked bandage gauze and did a diving headbutt straight onto his bed, planning to take a nap from then to his working hours. Working of being a dominant champ of course-

Then come kicking in the door was Olaf.

"Bro!"

Oh sorry, BROlaf!

Jax groaned, sometimes wondering whether or not he prefer the old crazy lost viking Olaf once had going on. But then again, Brolaf share his booze a lot often, the tradeoff still questionable.

"Dude, your fight was damn brutal!" that's a Brolaf's compliment, complete with double horn hand sign."Never seen anything like that for years!"

"Yeah," though Jax responded nonchalantly."Thought I never have to resort to that for years.

...

"Whut?"

Jax let out a groan, sat up straight and explained "To be honest, I always gotten bored during duels. They go down easy and offered no new challenge. Fiora...well, she's...different. Hell, I had never had anyone who does Alpha Strikes better than Yi! I just didn't expect my match to end in a draw!"

Jax took one large breath in.

"A draw. With me in it. Against an elitist socialite snob..."

all that teeth grinding speech, with deep breathing at the end and a couple of minutes of dead, hate filled silence, all Brolaf contribute to Jax's speech was "But she is hot, right?"

...

"Yeah, she's kinda hot."

Author's notes: ...yeah, JaxXFiora, didn't expect that, didn't ya? Why I did this? Because writing a fanfic about Kat, Sona and Ahri is too mainstream. Maybe for the next chapter, I'll make Fiora wear hipster glasses and Jax dance to dubstep. In all seriousness, please let know what do you think about the pairing and this fanfic. If you have any beef with it, please leave constructive criticism.

And this is merely a short story, even if you're unimpressed by this(as I am still pretty noobish when it comes to action scenes, come by shortly to check out another snippets.

Next one featuring LeBlanc and Swain.

Also: SHAMELESS ADVERTISING TIME

Visit my LoL RP forum, it contains adventures, love and drama. It's actually kind of unexpected but...well, it's the community's path. They will continue to follow it and I wrote like wise Chinese man.


	2. Walls of Jericho

Disclaimer: all rights belong to their respective owners

The jungle might not be the most comfortable place on Runeterra but it did have some benefits: tall grass both makes a decent makeshift cushion and a form of stealth to hide and...well, that's about it about the comfort part but hey, you still have to protect your jungler from invaders, right?

"Invaders, pfft, since when there is one in a low ELO match? Those type of guys are too damn afraid to even cross the river, so why worry about them?" came a complaint of a lady, sitting cross-legged on the ground within the brush, with her hand supporting up her head, bored of guarding her jungler, Singed.

Yes, Singed was jungling that round because his summoner was getting sick of being countered that he decided to welcome Singed into the jungle and turn him into a jungle man.

By the way, you may recognize the lady: pink skin, purple hair, ridiculously large head brooch, skanky outfit that reveals everything but the obvious places you wanted to see, plus a cape of some sort. You know, the one that burst you down with TONS OF DAMAGE, then blink back without any repercussion whatsoever? The one that's been commonly banned on ranked? That one burst mage that everyone seems to be pro at? Except for you and you end up feeding and your teammates yell at you and lower your already shitty self-esteem?

Yep, you guessed it!

Twilight Sparkle!

NO, WRONG ANSWER!

IT'S LEBLANC, YOU DUMB SHITFACE MIKE TYSON WANNA-

"I heard that Mr Swain has a new skin as of recent," the chemist attempted to strike up a conversation while waiting for the blue golem to spawn, mentally cursing at the early game waiting time.

"Oh? You mean that Tyrant Swain skin?" LeBlanc replied."Yes, it does look powerful of a skin, even more so than a million dollar pulsefire suit."

"No, I don't meant that."

"Eh? What do you mean? Wasn't the Tyrant skin had just been released-?"

"No, recently, Riot have just released yet another skin for him, they've announced it last 2 weeks ago and the skin has been released...yesterday, actually. Hell, we might even get the very first look of it in a moment, now, seeing that your lane opponent is your darling general."

LeBlanc giggled at Singed's usage of the word 'darling'.

"Oh yes, we'll see, we'll see," LeBlanc muttered out, then stood up and stretched a bit when the announcer have noted the arrival of the minions. LeBlanc check the team composition once more by looking at the summoner's mini map.

Darius top, Singed jungle, herself at mid and duo bottom team of Draven and Sona.

"I've fought many men," Darius boasted with his arms crossed while his axe was standing upright by its partially buried like."All strong, with years in specialist training camp and exceptional fighting skills, yet I've defeated every single one of them. Now what could a mere scout hamster do to me?"

Meanwhile, at bottom lane...

"Yeah, baby, appreciate every single bit of me," Draven boasted as he flexed his 'muscles' to showed off to his support, she simply shook her head and sighed.

When the blue golem have popped up out of nowhere, LeBlanc tags it with a sigil of silence and few basic attacks before she make her way back to her lane so as to kite the golem as Singed squeezed in as much free hits with his shield as possible before it focused on him back.

She looked around her lane. Empty. That means Swain was probably hard leashing or perhaps a bad pull and needs a releash. Either way, LeBlanc gets some free farms for a bit.

Then, her surroundings got shrouded in darkness.

...

"Wait..."LeBlanc noticed something sketchy."How does Nocturne get to level 6 this fast? I know he's God tier jungler with damn fast clearing speed but...wait, they dont even have Nocturne! Then how did-"

A siren came on, startling her a bit but after a count of five seconds, with one siren per second, it stopped, becoming silent again. It was if it was counting down to zero-

Suddenly, fireworks sets off on both of the river brushes. At the same time, the music came on, the guy singing sounds like he's half-baked, the spotlight that's sharing the pyro's brush have been turned on, then focusing themselves onto the purple side of the lane, casting a silhouette walking towards the middle of the lane.

"Jericho Swain?"LeBlanc asked out of concerns and curiosity. You know someone gets serious when that someone ask the other by full name.

"MY NAME IS JERICHO SWAIN, NO LONGER!" shouted the figure, who he then threw his cane offhandedly to the floor. He stripped off his coat and it suffered the same fate as the cane. He unbraided his 3 measly strip of hairlines to released a shoulder length blonde hair.

He held out both of his arms diagonally to the air with his back to LeBlanc.

"MY NAME...IS...CHRIS JERICHO! Break down the walls, baby!"

...

...

Okay, what drugs did Singed give to the guys at Riot? LeBlanc thought.

Well, lemme answer that for you, my dear girl: nostalgia. You know, back in the day where the Rock and Stone Cold were the main eventers instead of John Cena and CM Punk?

You and your stupid fake sports, LeBlanc thought.

Well, you can fuck off, LeBlanc. But we are going off course here. Back to the story...

While LeBlanc was having a confusion of a lifetime, a mind rape if you will, Swain have run up to a minion, getting a last hit and lionsault to LeBlanc. He tried to go for a pinfall but the turret keeps poking him on the back, it annoys him, so he got up, did a low blow with his arm. It was so powerful that the balls exited through the mouth and the turret exploded immediately from the lack of testosterone it had lost.

"Uhhh..."and obviously, a sane person will be dumbfounded at the sight of what just happened."Umm, Singed, would you be so kind to ask your summoners to gank early?"

"Uh...negative."

"What? Why?"

"Because top needs help, bottom needs help and now you ask. Would you like to take a number?"

Every lane is in trouble? How?"

She looked at top. Yep, Darius was getting absolutely dominated. By a goddamn freaking hamster.

"Yeah, bitch, you like that, didn't you?" Teemo taunted from a distance while Darius was cowering, hugging the tower like a teddy bear."Can't make me bleed if you can't see anything, huh? Where's your damn annoying ult, niggah? Come on, STAND AND FIGHT, CALLING YOURSELF NOXIAN?"

Oh wow, thats what LeBlanc have to say about top,then she looked down at bottom.

"Uwaaah!" Lulu cried out like a school girl, pointing at Draven as if he's a well known celebrity."It's the one and only, Draven! Could sign me autographs! I promise you it won't take more than a minute!"

"Well, sure!" and of course, Draven complied, while tossing his axe aside."I always got time for my fans! Now, where's your pen and paper?"

"Here!" Lulu passed a ballpoint pen, then took out towering piles of papers from the brush."And...here!"

And Draven went off on a signing spree. And he never, ever, stop. Meanwhile, his opponent, Graves, gets all the free farm he wanted, lasthitting every last minion he gets. So, of course, Sona's summoner called for help while the maven herself tried to dissuade her partner from participating in an obvious distraction.

"Oh? Sona! Do you want an autograph too?" of course, Sona's mute and everyone have to play a game of charade with her. And Draven was absolutely terrible at it during his time at elementary school."Don't worry! I never forget about you!"

He then signed his name on Sona's left boob. Feeling embarrassed and blushing very hard, Sona covered it up quickly.

"Oh? You want it on the other side too?" Draven predicted (wrongly) and signed on the right side too. Sona's blush spread from her cheeks to pretty much her whole face and she went down on her knees in humiliation, tears welling up-

"Oooohh, I get it!" finally, Draven think that he finally got what Sona was trying to say. Sona's facial expression has brightened up and her hand clasped together, thinking that perhaps Draven will focus back into farming and-"I think you want something a bit special from me..."

He then unzip his pants.

And in a matter of milliseconds, her smiles turned into a grave, doomed frown.

"Cool! I even got a camera here!" and Lulu wasn't helping one bit.

Well, I could've continue writing about them but then the fanfic would turned rated M. We don't want that. Or at least, I don't want that, because I still like Sona.

All I can say about that was that it was the time when Sona gave 'first blood'.

"Okay..." LeBlanc will have to confirm Singed's dilemma."I guess we are fu-Arrrgggh!"

At that time, Swain swept her off her feet, forcing her to land on her back, then grabbed said legs, while standing, and turned around so as LeBlanc was now in a prone position with Swain on top of the back of her knees.

Finally, he squat down, dealing TONS OF DAMAGE on that knee.

"I call this-!" Swain announced at the top of his lung."WALLS! OF! JERICHO!"

Let me tell you, that submission move is damn painful, especially at the leg area and it slows, even stops, blood circulation.

And as you can probably guess, LeBlanc screamed in agony and tap frantically onto the dirt, awaiting referee to come in and declared the match to Swain.

"There are no referees, you idiot!" Swain pointed out.

"Noooooooooooooooooo-!"

She then tried to crawled forward and stretched out her arms to reach for the rope.

"There are no ropes, either."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

...

"That's some nice early gank, Nocturne," Swain complimented with a thumbs up to his eldritch abomination of his jungler to his right as they witness Noc's finished product: a pink lady with her face on the dirt and her butt up in the air.

"Your welcome," Noc begrudgingly answered."This target's nightmare was...interesting."

With that, he float away, seeing if he can take a few wraiths from Singed's jungle.

Swain sighed, pinched LeBlanc's soft cheeks(not THAT cheek, though) and whispered "You were so...how did they say this in Ionia?...Kawaii...when you're damn frightened to hell. I wonder what kind of nightmares you had. Just so I can do that over and over again to see that cute face."

It's a mentally cruel relationship. But a relationship nonetheless.

And now, it is a magical fun time of alternate alternatives!

"What in the blazes of Noxus is this?" LeBlanc cursed as she laid her eyes on a pink skinned purple haired yordle, about the height and length of her waist. The yordle waved at LeBlanc and greeted with a playful grin "Puh-leeeaasee, to meet you."

...

Full AP mid Lulu? LeBlanc deadpanned mentally, are the summoners desperate to get a suitable carry?

But she digress, she simply shrugged and continue farming like usual.

At first, it was not that eventful, neither side of the lane did not want to waste their mana too quickly to leave themselves vulnerable to ganks. However, when LeBlanc reached level 4, she believed it is time to break the boring bleak silence. She looked at Lulu once more. She looked so innocent, so cute, so...open. LeBlanc had her sigil of silence in her hand, awaiting its use. She could use her dash to close the gap but her summoner decided to save it for the sigil's activation.

She approached slowly, like a pedophile with chlorine soaked clothe in her hand. Her grin gradually grew wilder and looking more sinister.

But then, Lulu looked up.

Her eyes opened wide.

"CALL NINE ONE ONE NOW!" she suddenly shouted.

"Huh?" LeBlanc muttered.

Before Lulu turned her into a squirrel. Lulu then grabbed her newly transformed tail and slammed it left and right.

WUB WUB WUBUBUBU WUBUBU

This would be the time where Skrillex drop the bass and gives this battle a dirty bass but this is a written work and I don't have the money to pay for royalty...just imagine 'First Of The Year' in your head or YouTube, then sync every snare beat with every slam Lulu unleashed onto LeBlanc. When she about to transformed back, Lulu twirled her above her head and release LeBlanc to send her flying to the river pillar.

Lulu strolled towards the broken mess of pink, extended out her hand and commanded "Pix. Destroy."

Instantly, Pix teleported to LeBlanc and bitch slapped her across her overpowered face. Next, Pix cast Glitterlance right between the eyes, causing LeBlanc's health to drop drastically.

"Her...burst...damage," LeBlanc winces as she moaned."So strong."

She cast her decoy out and went into stealth for half a second, making a mad dash to safety, didn't even think of staying at the first tower. She looked back but to her disbelief, Lulu did not make a chase. Truth is, Lulu doesn't need to, doesn't want to.

Lulu pointed to her and simply said "Get her, my dark critter."

It was then LeBlanc's sight has reduced down to just barely able to see her own nose. She panicked, so much that she resorted to a choice that wouldn't made an impact but do so anyway. She took out her phone out of...somewhere, tap in the numbers and screamed at the top of the voice...

"CAWL NEIN WAN WAN NAO!"

She felt somewhere in her spine where there's a huge crack.

First blood.

Then Skrilly's bass would be sync with LeBlanc's dropping on the dirt floor. In fact...

WUB WUB DUU DDUDHDUDUUUUDUD WUB WUB

Somewhere along that line.

"Thank you, Noc!" Lulu expressed her gratitude in a massive dose of moe.

Nocturne made a mistake of looking back.

Executed.

...

"Dahell?"

Apparently, he died by a nosebleed that sends all across the map before finally landing at the enemy's fountain turret.

Author's note: Yep, I like dubstep, just not all of my dubstep favorites is all Skrillex. I've seen that someone like the JaxXFiora, it kinda makes me wanna make another one, so I will. Right after I make a JarvanXLux. Well, something like that. I dunno, I'm an unprofessional buttmunch.


End file.
